Chelsea - Chelsea - Special Agent Joe Cole!
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Chelsea - Special Agent Joe Cole!

Comrade Cole, you have done well in you first two missions.

The red card you got was so clever and I really liked the timing, just at the stroke of half-time. Genius!

Your penalty miss against Trabzonspor last night was so impressive. I love how you managed to look sad despite all the joy you had in passing the penalty to the keeper.

I have also noticed you have been taking massive strides off the pitch as well.

You were found guilty on Wednesday of speeding at 105mph and face a ban obviously trying to fit in with the locals.

You have also managed to convince the captain to compare you to Messi or preferably, Joe 'Messi' Cole. What a tremendous way to start your secret mission over there!

Agent Joe, I am not trying to remind you how to go about your job but you must remember that the real skill is in seamless integration; become your role, know your enemy - they won't suspect a thing (Just look at the job Special Agent Gallas did at Arsenal.)

Put their trophy winning years well and truly in the past and keep calling them the greatest club in England while you secretly make further progress with your mission.

I'm sure you still have some secret weapons in your arsenal (own goals, long term injuries, etc) so I will write you another mission statement when you pull off another spectacular move.

Just remember, if you ever feel your mission is being compromised at any point - GET OUT OF THERE!

Carefree!

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The Journalist

Writer: Blue in Colorado Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday August 20 2010

Time: 4:44PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
a really well written article, made me chuckle :L
MR.CHELSEA
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20/08/2010 16:53:00

LOL laugh at him even more for his penalty miss.
C_Blue
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20/08/2010 16:56:00

LOL. You forget a very powerful weapon: foul Gerrard and Torres in training and send them to the hospital
Rip The Reds Apart
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20/08/2010 17:01:00

Haha genius.
Kick my ball
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20/08/2010 17:09:00

Special Agent Joe is doing a pretty good job so far :)
daspecial1
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20/08/2010 17:12:00

Another topic shamelessly stolen from facebook eh?
BatterseaBlue
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20/08/2010 17:13:00

The only flaw in the assignment is where Joey landed. A covert operation at Man Utd would be more beneficial to Chelsea!
RadioactiveD
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20/08/2010 17:21:00

good job so far Special Agent . more to do ...
JackSufre
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20/08/2010 17:23:00

ROFL!!! Great read there Blue in Colorado :) Cracked me up big time :D
SLampard
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20/08/2010 17:41:00

Lol radioactived
essiensbigfan
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20/08/2010 17:41:00

I tried hard not to mention liverpool in the article LOL
Blue in colorado
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20/08/2010 18:08:00

Awesome read :)
blueKnightz09
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20/08/2010 18:18:00

That was very funny!
Bumps
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20/08/2010 18:22:00

Joe Cole is so SLOW. Whatever way u wana define pace, whether it's with the ball, sharp off the mark or pace over distance, Joe plays like an old man.
jackstan
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20/08/2010 18:35:00

following in Agent Wise's footsteps at Newcastle...
TonyBlue
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20/08/2010 18:57:00

Agent J !!!!
kingDROG
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20/08/2010 19:07:00

To complete his first week as a red he know needs to make the sacrifice to really fit in up there north of the M25 and make sure he gets robbed during the game this weekend.
Lindy
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20/08/2010 19:10:00

Then the integration have to be considered being a total success.
Lindy
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20/08/2010 19:11:00

Lots of morons in Liverpool. No worries about his secret mission :)
essiential
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20/08/2010 19:52:00

i cant believe they let jcole take the penalty... i mean WTF!!! looks like liverpool are desperate to keep jcole happy... no one in their right minds would give jcole that chance ahead of the others
lampardsrightfoot
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20/08/2010 22:01:00

Very funny.....mind you he's got to go some to catch Willi 007 Gallas. He fecked up Arsicum for us....and now he's off to mash the Spuds!!
mutters
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20/08/2010 22:51:00

....besides with the Chinese consortium pulling out tonight, pool will probably self implode!!
mutters
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20/08/2010 22:52:00

O, I see what you did thar. =O
ZhirkovShouldPlayMor
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20/08/2010 23:01:00

Brilliant :D
londonfc
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21/08/2010 01:01:00

Let's just hope Yossi is not the ultimate in counter-espionage!
londonfc
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21/08/2010 01:01:00

LOL!
Blue Day
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21/08/2010 03:56:00

Wait for it lads.... his code name HAS to be..... Joe 90...roflmfao.... & for those of you who are too young, google him....Joe 90 I mean....lol, lol, lol....CAREFREE!!!
Bluelion26
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21/08/2010 07:41:00

LOL...jus by lookin at the title "Special Agen Joe Cole" i knew the content...BTW nice article...common Joey...destroy the Poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....oooo...
BlueBoyChelsea
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21/08/2010 08:57:00

lol you guys are so funny!!!!
suppahigh
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22/08/2010 08:25:00

made my day this one
ten men
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22/08/2010 18:48:00

haha
eklim
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03/10/2010 23:38:00

 

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