UK time is: 18:14:08
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Chelsea - Special Agent Joe Cole!

Comrade Cole, you have done well in you first two missions.

The red card you got was so clever and I really liked the timing, just at the stroke of half-time. Genius!

Your penalty miss against Trabzonspor last night was so impressive. I love how you managed to look sad despite all the joy you had in passing the penalty to the keeper.

I have also noticed you have been taking massive strides off the pitch as well.

You were found guilty on Wednesday of speeding at 105mph and face a ban obviously trying to fit in with the locals.

You have also managed to convince the captain to compare you to Messi or preferably, Joe 'Messi' Cole. What a tremendous way to start your secret mission over there!

Agent Joe, I am not trying to remind you how to go about your job but you must remember that the real skill is in seamless integration; become your role, know your enemy - they won't suspect a thing (Just look at the job Special Agent Gallas did at Arsenal.)

Put their trophy winning years well and truly in the past and keep calling them the greatest club in England while you secretly make further progress with your mission.

I'm sure you still have some secret weapons in your arsenal (own goals, long term injuries, etc) so I will write you another mission statement when you pull off another spectacular move.

Just remember, if you ever feel your mission is being compromised at any point - GET OUT OF THERE!


Join The Vital Debate

Vital Chelsea on: facebook

Vital Chelsea on: twitter

Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Blue in Colorado Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Friday August 20 2010

Time: 4:44PM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
a really well written article, made me chuckle :L
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 16:53:00

LOL laugh at him even more for his penalty miss.
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 16:56:00

LOL. You forget a very powerful weapon: foul Gerrard and Torres in training and send them to the hospital
Rip The Reds Apart
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:01:00

Haha genius.
Kick my ball
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:09:00

Special Agent Joe is doing a pretty good job so far :)
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:12:00

Another topic shamelessly stolen from facebook eh?
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:13:00

The only flaw in the assignment is where Joey landed. A covert operation at Man Utd would be more beneficial to Chelsea!
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:21:00

good job so far Special Agent . more to do ...
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:23:00

ROFL!!! Great read there Blue in Colorado :) Cracked me up big time :D
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:41:00

Lol radioactived
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 17:41:00

I tried hard not to mention liverpool in the article LOL
Blue in colorado
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 18:08:00

Awesome read :)
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 18:18:00

That was very funny!
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 18:22:00

Joe Cole is so SLOW. Whatever way u wana define pace, whether it's with the ball, sharp off the mark or pace over distance, Joe plays like an old man.
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 18:35:00

following in Agent Wise's footsteps at Newcastle...
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 18:57:00

Agent J !!!!
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 19:07:00

To complete his first week as a red he know needs to make the sacrifice to really fit in up there north of the M25 and make sure he gets robbed during the game this weekend.
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 19:10:00

Then the integration have to be considered being a total success.
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 19:11:00

Lots of morons in Liverpool. No worries about his secret mission :)
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 19:52:00

i cant believe they let jcole take the penalty... i mean WTF!!! looks like liverpool are desperate to keep jcole happy... no one in their right minds would give jcole that chance ahead of the others
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 22:01:00

Very funny.....mind you he's got to go some to catch Willi 007 Gallas. He fecked up Arsicum for us....and now he's off to mash the Spuds!!
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 22:51:00

....besides with the Chinese consortium pulling out tonight, pool will probably self implode!!
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 22:52:00

O, I see what you did thar. =O
Report Abuse
20/08/2010 23:01:00

Brilliant :D
Report Abuse
21/08/2010 01:01:00

Let's just hope Yossi is not the ultimate in counter-espionage!
Report Abuse
21/08/2010 01:01:00

Blue Day
Report Abuse
21/08/2010 03:56:00

Wait for it lads.... his code name HAS to be..... Joe 90...roflmfao.... & for those of you who are too young, google him....Joe 90 I, lol, lol....CAREFREE!!!
Report Abuse
21/08/2010 07:41:00

LOL...jus by lookin at the title "Special Agen Joe Cole" i knew the content...BTW nice article...common Joey...destroy the Poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....oooo...
Report Abuse
21/08/2010 08:57:00

lol you guys are so funny!!!!
Report Abuse
22/08/2010 08:25:00

made my day this one
ten men
Report Abuse
22/08/2010 18:48:00

Report Abuse
03/10/2010 23:38:00


Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Chelsea Articles

Our JT (Sunday January 25 2015)

Where`s Stipe Perica? (Sunday January 25 2015)

Drogba - Best Value Signing? (Sunday January 25 2015)

Chelsea In The Hunt for Pogba? (Sunday January 25 2015)

Mikel - Part of the Furniture! (Sunday January 25 2015)

Cech - Bradford Deserved It! (Sunday January 25 2015)

So Were Was Schurrle Yesterday? (Sunday January 25 2015)

Mourinho Gracious in Defeat (Saturday January 24 2015)

Embarrassed! (Saturday January 24 2015)

Stats: Chelsea v Bradford City (Saturday January 24 2015)

Archived Chelsea Articles

List All Vital Chelsea Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Solid7 123
2. Ikdaniels 76
3. Michael Reid 74
4. GabeU 74
5. StamfordDLion 57
6. Bharath Narayanan 56
7. CobhamBlue 50
8. The Josh 47
9. DeepBlue1 47

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Swansea 0 - 5 Chelsea
Chelsea 2 - 0 Newcastle
Spurs 5 - 3 Chelsea
Southampton 1 - 1 Chelsea
Chelsea 2 - 0 West Ham
Stoke 0 - 2 Chelsea

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
1. Chelsea 22 16 4 2 +32 52
2. Man City 22 14 5 3 +23 47
3. Southampton 22 13 3 6 +21 42
4. Man Utd 22 11 7 4 +15 40
5. Arsenal 22 11 6 5 +14 39
6. Spurs 22 11 4 7 +2 37
7. West Ham 22 10 6 6 +10 36

Breaking League News

Hammers Are #15!
West Ham : 25/01/2015 18:07:00
Sam`s View - Bristol City (a) FA Cup 4th Round
West Ham : 25/01/2015 17:59:00
Bristol City 0 West Ham 1
West Ham : 25/01/2015 17:34:00
Inter Play Down Yaya Rumours
Man City : 25/01/2015 17:28:00
Our JT
Chelsea : 25/01/2015 17:19:00

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Will we bounce back against Liverpool?
Suggested By:  merlin
Yes! 100%
No! 0%
Who Knows! 0%