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Torres at Chelsea - A Criminal Existence?

On over a 180,000-a-week and a meagre return of 19 league goals in 104 [dis]appearances since Abramovich's pricey brain-fart moment in January 2011, isn't it time Scotland Yard got involved?

Okay, that's a joke I concede, although there ain't nothing funny about the criminal profligacy of the one-time potent Chelsea 'striker'. I mean, at an avaricious average of a goal per 5.5 games - worse than Andy Carroll's West Ham average, to put this painful malaise in perspective - working out at an outrageous 2,631,579 for every goal scored in the Barclays Premier League in our royal blue shirt, can any of our young strikers [Romelu Lukaku, Patrick Bamford, Dominic Solanke and Izzy Brown] do any worse? Blimey.

Bought for a ludicrous sum that would comfortably foot the official bills of all US presidents and UK Prime Ministers combined, from Reagan and Thatcher to Obama and Cameron - including the overly monied George W. Bush Jnr regime [assuming the information that the incumbent American president takes home $400,000 per annum is anything to go by] it is safe to say the ex-Scouse pain in the backside should be investigated and probably detained and kept far, far, far away from SW6 by The Met for contractual fee fraud, undeserved criminal enrichment or some other contrapted legal jargon until someone [Roman Abramovich Jnr?] realizes his toothless "birthday toy" is simply what it is - an expensive unfunny joke that should be summarily thrown out the pram ASAP - as it seems the Financial Fair Play and our ambitions as an elite European club would render the only other functional option of doing him a Malouda or an Adebayor untenable.

Granted one shouldn't sound so uncharitable or vindictive on a Sunday blah, blah, blah, and believe me I absolutely apologize to all the El Nino apologists out there, but do you think this farce should continue unabated?

It is trite Jose is thinking strikers! strikers!! strikers!!! especially since the Big Sam 0-0 19th century retro bore-fest earlier in the year, but don't you just have the feeling that Torres' chances of exterminating us all with his chronic 'hypertoothlessomiasis' next season is slimmer than that of David Moyes winning The Treble at Manchester United with a certain Rio Ferdinand as captain next term?




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The Journalist

Writer: HGH Magic Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday March 30 2014

Time: 11:25AM

Your Comments

Yes hes been extremely poor and it puts pressure on our midfielders to come up with the goals.. I can only wonder what a 20-25 goal striker would have done for this team.. This season could be trophyless most probably .. time to build the team for next season !! Having said that we ll still beat PSG n enter the semis i feel
slash_blue
I am tired of talking about torres...we have virtually done everything we can to help him...changed managers for him,even the fans have always been behind him...he just has to do us a favour and leave
Hazard11
No offence, but this is a completely pointless article... What's the need for an article to single out and bash a player every time we lose a match... Oh, no Mikel or Ramires in this so Torres is the obvious scapegoat.... Yes, Torres performed poorly, etc... we all know, it's no news.... you said this enough in various articles yesterday.... Moreover, Torres didn't select himself and we have other options if we feel Torres is not worth it.... why was he picked ahead of Ba and how much of a difference did Ba make when he came in?... Has pointless moaning about players now become the way to show support and profess loyalty?....
Latunvic
I am numb to Torres. He needs to go. Do whatever it takes to get him off the books. Even if you must pay 1/2 or more of his wages.
lamarochs
It's almost 3 and a half seasons since Torres arrived. And well it hasn't been what it should have been. ............... How we went into the season with this strike force is beyond me. And in January we neglected to rectify it either. And eventually it has held us back. Eto'o has looked sharp lately, but at his age, and with injury concerns, he wasn't supposed to be first choice.
syed230183_chelseafc
Maybe Torres doesn't want to play for Chelsea. The same season he joined, he scored two solo goals against Chelsea. He hates the club.
foreign_viewer
He needs to leave that's all he's got left to do he can't do it anymore
herefordchelsea
Get him out PLEASE...
Carloss86
He is the worst striker I have seen in recent times. I think we can legally cancel his contract for non performance
Dwonder
LOLOL @solid7. U jst wicked!
Bluegiant
Its obvious Torres is a Mole, Liverpool completely fooled us, hell they even got Sturrige. Now he is helping them to their first league title in years! Sh*t i feel cheated. Lol
elemzy
Hahahaha elemzy - perhaps it's safe to say the Scousers are not all dense dumbasses as once feared, no? ;-)
HGH Magic
Haha... My comment deleted. Oh well. It's all good when one is giving, but not so good when one is receiving, eh HGH? LOL
solid7
Manchester City regretted selling Sturridge to us. And what did we do? Sell Sturridge to Liverpool!
Blue Day
HGH, have you forgotten that Torres scored the equaliser against Barcelona at Nou Camp in the Champions League semi-final and earned the corner from which Drogba scored the equaliser against Bayern Munich in the Champions League final?
Blue Day
No Blue Day, trust me I've not forgotten; same way I've not forgotten the Spaniard has NEVER won a league championship in his career, and Chelsea have failed to win the Premier League since his arrival @SW6! Coincidence, providence or superstition? I think not. Hell, even a Benteke in a poor Aston Villa side has scored 29 Premier League goals in 59 appearances(1 goal every other match!) in less than 2 seasons since his arrival from Genk. So...
HGH Magic
 

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