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World Cup Update: Tiki-taka shot dead

In loving memory of our beloved tiki-taka, and although Brazilian police are on top of the situation - already hot on the trail of the culprits - Vital Chelsea regrets not informing the world in 'good time' that if there's one person who's doing his best to wipe the philosophy of tiki-taka (please ask google if you haven't heard this term yet) off the history books and out of our consciousness, an antithesis to the boring possession short passing-oriented football, then that person must be the Dutch Master christened Arjen Robben; because for close to a decade now, the former Chelsea and Real Madrid bald wing wizard has been going about dear business of trying to kill tiki-taka, with his uber functional playing style and grenade of a left foot, of course.


If he's not teaming up with his other tiki-taka 'antagonists' at German side FC Bayern to destroy 'protagonists' and proponents at Barcelona under the watchful eyes of a great of the game and former Real Madrid coach, Jupp Heynckes, he is conniving with another great and former Barcelona gaffer, Louis Van Gaal to murder world and European champions, Spain.


Well, last night he(and his cohorts) finally succeeded in murdering tiki-taka, and almost a hapless Iker Casillas too to boot, as the world witnessed the asphyxiation of the body and soul of tiki-taka.


With non-crocodile tears in the eyes I regret to inform you that as (mis)communicated by chief mourner, Vincente Del Bosque, obsequies and interment will be announced soon, most likely before the final of the World Cup on 13 July. So keep a date.

Was Roman Abramovich watching?
Please buy a wreath, sir.

Adieu tiki-taka.




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The Journalist

Writer: Josh_Mou  Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Saturday June 14 2014

Time: 10:11AM

Your Comments

The gesture of frustration i saw in Del Bosque can only be done by a tired or bored donkey. We were the first to declare war on tiki taka but others have followed suit: Bayern against Barcelona, Real against Bayern etc. The most effective type football right now is quick counter attacking style employed by Dortmund, Real and most recently the Dutch national team.
BOTUM
LOL BOTUM, bored donkey? Now that's a new one ;-)
The Josh
Well the 2014 version of the ' Flying Dutchmen', that is the irrepressible duo of Robben and RVP steamrolled all over the defending champs, and their tiki tikka or whatever. Though feel for Azpi. He may end up paying the price along with Costa, both of whom hardly suit Del Bosque's way of playing and most importantly the two barely played for La Roja.
syed230183_chelseafc
I think it's time for Spain to replace some old legs with fresh and younger ones. A midfield of Javi Martinez, Koke, Iniesta and attacking trio of Silva/Isco, Negredo, Pedro would have performed better than the rubbish they played yesterday. Del Bosque's bias and favouritism will take them no where. Let's see if they can turn this around..
Latunvic
I won't write them off yet, they lost their first game in 2010 and were able to beat Chile 2-1 to progress, but of course, losing 1-5 is a completely different story and this Chile looks better than 2010's, plus this is a weaker Spain. This will be a very tough one for Spain.
Latunvic
The sub-title reads: "Murdered by Total Football". But that's not really true, now is it? Total football has been dead for a very long time, having actually given birth to "Tiki Taka". What the Dutch played last night was most certainly not "total football". Rather, a comprehensive, and colossal ass-whooping, is what it was.
solid7
solid, Total Football as a philosophy, colloquially speaking, is supposed to totally, 'colossally and comprehensively' whoop-asses, hence the "total" is it not? So?
The Josh
and do you have to take this as literally seeing as this was dead easy just a satirical offering?
The Josh
Spanish side are stuck with this philosophy,its made them so predictable to play against. A little bit of tweak in style,and a lil bit of more directness and they'll be on track again.
nelyvanile
Tiki Taka is not dead! Just because Spain lost their first match doesn't mean beautiful football is dead. This is mearly a setback.There are still 2 group stage games left, which are must wins for them which makes La Roja Furia dangerous. Lets wait before we judge because if I recall correctly Spain lost their first group stage match in South Africa and went on to win the tournament. Its far from over haters...
traykidd
@Josh, yes indeed. I have a lot to do with donkeys in my country. I deal with them a lot and i didn't see the difference between one of my bored donkeys (i own more that 60 of them) and del Bosque.
BOTUM
Which country is that, BOTUM ?
ZeeNut
Spain will still get further in the tournament than Holland.
THEBREEZE
watching spain vs holland was like watching barca vs holland spain made a big mistake in their line-up & game plan koke should have started the game instead of busquets or xavi & torres did a torres.. better we should terminate his contract and trash him out
Sathish Lakshmanan
@ZeeNut, somewhere in Asia. For commercial purposes.
BOTUM
Xabi Alonso, he's nowhere near Xavi and Pirlo's class. Pirlo > Xavi too.
foreign_viewer
 

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