Vital Football

Latest Chelsea FC News

That Old Gallows Humour

That Old Gallows Humour

A trait synonymous with terrace banter!

I can recall in distant days gone by the feeling of despair when Chelsea were on the receiving end of a 7 goal thrashing when our backsides were kicked by Nottingham Forest.

It hurt!

But, on the journey home the quartet in my car exchanged banter to lighten the mood and by the time we were back in Bedfordshire, the world seemed a better place and we were looking towards the next game.

Over in Brazil I`m not sure that a similar scenario is developing, in fact I get the impression that it`s a nation in mourning.

However, it won`t stop me trying to angle this article in the direction of the jocular, although some with Brazilian connections might not see the funny side.

Please feel free to add your suggestions in our comments facility once you get the drift of what road I`m going down.

So here goes - things not to do today in any big Brazilian city:-

1 - Don`t go into a restaurant and request a table for 7!

2 - When asked what you`d like to drink don`t request a 7-Up!

3 - Please don`t remind anyone just how much Paris St Germain has paid us for David Luiz!

4 - Please don`t try to be smart and try and ask any Brazil fans whether they thought they could Schurrle do better or mention that the score-line wasn`t even Klos or that their side got Muller(-ed)

5 - Don`t stroll into a bar and put the Madness song Embarrassment on!

6 - Please don`t try to sell that job lot of yellow and blue t-shirts you ordered proclaiming Brazil as 2014 World Cup winners!

Now you must have got the drift, please feel free to add your own jibes!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Merlin
Date:Wednesday July 9 2014
Time: 8:50AM

Comments

0
All good things are 7, but I think you are a bit harsh on Luiz, apart from being screened off at the first goal by a tank called Klose he was the defender that came closest to a passing grade. The fullbacks that ran into them, ran behind them, changed sides behind the central pairing showed the worst display of defensive football I seen since I watched a game of seven year olds in the park the other day. oscar also comes close to a passing grade, and a well taken goal - BUT that game will be the subject of football know-it-all-analysis for the next ten years.... Total Collapse will be the movie title.
Lindy
09/07/2014 09:07:00
0
Disagreed totally with Lindy. Luiz was the worst player ont he field of play yesterday. At a point I was embaraased to even think of how much we mugged PSG for him. He was a dissapointment personified. As the captain, I was expecting better organisation and calm composure from him. Insteas he was charging forward at every opportunity leaving a hopeless Dante behind.his lack of composure together with Marcelo's recklessness that allowed the Germans so much space to destroy the team. With Thiago in that team, they would never have conceded such number of goals. He lost the plot and lost the war. He was even lucky to be on the pitch aftter swinging his elbow twice aat Klose. The shambolic display of the entire Brazilain team occurred because David luiz did not re organised his team after going two golas down in 20mins. I wiser captian would have said: guys let's slow down here, its obvious our game plan is not working, let's slow down and build from the back. Rather than charging recklessly forward and giving the german attacker a free day. The only upside to this debacle is that we've collected cash from PSG without a refund option.
Dwonder
09/07/2014 09:35:00
0
Dante was the worst defender there with Luiz at close second. Maicon & Marcelo were not even defenders.
ACLamp
09/07/2014 09:46:00
0
Brazil would have been beaten even with Silva
BOTUM
09/07/2014 12:38:00
0
Good to spot a post from you after quite a while, Lindy . But i must disagree .... David Luiz was poor yesterday . But the biggest blame must go to Scolari .... getting his starting XI wrong, not changing the formation to cater to the German style of play .... can go on & on ....
ZeeNut
09/07/2014 17:03:00
0
Nice one Merlin and mcquinn but please don't forget to tell anyone the Brazilians last anthem without a mega speaker albeit aggressive and passionate ended in 7
kolagold25
09/07/2014 17:41:00
0
At the risk of being non P.C. & with apologies in advance to any vertically challenged Vital members, I must invoke the 7 Dwarfs for Brazil's performance- Doc - well the players will all need a shrink Dopey - nuff said Sneezy - they caught a cold last night Sleepy - players might as well have been in bed as on the pitch Grumpy - the nation this time, again nuff said Bashful - not Brazil, but the Germans did look a little embarrassed Happy - definitely not
analooish
09/07/2014 20:58:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Chelsea Articles

Chelsea v Newcastle - Team-Sheets

A second consecutive Premier League game on the bounce sees Chelsea welcome Newcastle United this evening.

Match Day Moments - Newcastle (h)

It's another home fixture for Chelsea today as we welcome Newcastle United to Stamford Bridge.

£40 Million Striker Turned Chelsea Down!

An intriguing little snippet of information gleaned would appear to suggest Chelsea were prepared to spend big in the last transfer window.

Chelsea v Newcastle - Stat Attack

It has to be done doesn't it, a look at the facts and figures relevant to our fixture with Newcastle this Saturday evening.

Archived Vital Chelsea Articles

Vital Chelsea articles from

Site Journalists

Merlin
Profile
Stan Wenners
Profile
GabeU
Profile
Tom
Profile
The Josh
Profile
Dylan M
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

MOTM v United?
Suggested By: merlin
Courtois17%
Ivanovic0%
Zouma2%
Terry2%
Azpilicueta1%
Matic0%
Mikel26%
Fabregas2%
Willian7%
Oscar0%
Diego Costa36%
Hazard7%
Cahill0%
Pedro0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Arsenal 25 14 6 5 48 17
4 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
5 Man Utd 26 11 8 7 41 9
6 Southampton 26 11 7 8 40 10
7 West Ham 26 10 10 6 40 9
8 Watford 26 10 6 10 36 1
9 Stoke 26 10 6 10 36 -5
10 Everton 26 8 11 7 35 11
11 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
12 Chelsea 26 8 9 9 33 1
13 Crystal Palace 26 9 5 12 32 -5
14 WBA 26 8 8 10 32 -8
15 AFC Bournemouth 26 7 7 12 28 -14
16 Swansea 26 6 9 11 27 -10
17 Norwich 26 6 6 14 24 -20
18 Newcastle 26 6 6 14 24 -21
19 Sunderland 26 6 5 15 23 -18
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Chelsea Fixtures (view all)

Feb 13 2016 5:30PM : Newcastle United (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 21 2016 4:00PM : Manchester City (H)
FA Cup
Feb 27 2016 3:00PM : Southampton (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 1 2016 7:45PM : Norwich City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : Stoke City (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 13 2016 4:00PM : Liverpool (a)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Chelsea Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Kazuya Mishima56
2.Michael Reid54
3.jonmarbengmx49
4.ZeeNut38
5.Halogen37
6.Latunvic30
7.Blu_run26
8.Solid726
9.kolagold2524
10.OCBlues23