Vital Football

Latest Chelsea FC News

That Old Gallows Humour

That Old Gallows Humour

A trait synonymous with terrace banter!

I can recall in distant days gone by the feeling of despair when Chelsea were on the receiving end of a 7 goal thrashing when our backsides were kicked by Nottingham Forest.

It hurt!

But, on the journey home the quartet in my car exchanged banter to lighten the mood and by the time we were back in Bedfordshire, the world seemed a better place and we were looking towards the next game.

Over in Brazil I`m not sure that a similar scenario is developing, in fact I get the impression that it`s a nation in mourning.

However, it won`t stop me trying to angle this article in the direction of the jocular, although some with Brazilian connections might not see the funny side.

Please feel free to add your suggestions in our comments facility once you get the drift of what road I`m going down.

So here goes - things not to do today in any big Brazilian city:-

1 - Don`t go into a restaurant and request a table for 7!

2 - When asked what you`d like to drink don`t request a 7-Up!

3 - Please don`t remind anyone just how much Paris St Germain has paid us for David Luiz!

4 - Please don`t try to be smart and try and ask any Brazil fans whether they thought they could Schurrle do better or mention that the score-line wasn`t even Klos or that their side got Muller(-ed)

5 - Don`t stroll into a bar and put the Madness song Embarrassment on!

6 - Please don`t try to sell that job lot of yellow and blue t-shirts you ordered proclaiming Brazil as 2014 World Cup winners!

Now you must have got the drift, please feel free to add your own jibes!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Merlin
Date:Wednesday July 9 2014
Time: 8:50AM

Comments

0
All good things are 7, but I think you are a bit harsh on Luiz, apart from being screened off at the first goal by a tank called Klose he was the defender that came closest to a passing grade. The fullbacks that ran into them, ran behind them, changed sides behind the central pairing showed the worst display of defensive football I seen since I watched a game of seven year olds in the park the other day. oscar also comes close to a passing grade, and a well taken goal - BUT that game will be the subject of football know-it-all-analysis for the next ten years.... Total Collapse will be the movie title.
Lindy
09/07/2014 09:07:00
0
Disagreed totally with Lindy. Luiz was the worst player ont he field of play yesterday. At a point I was embaraased to even think of how much we mugged PSG for him. He was a dissapointment personified. As the captain, I was expecting better organisation and calm composure from him. Insteas he was charging forward at every opportunity leaving a hopeless Dante behind.his lack of composure together with Marcelo's recklessness that allowed the Germans so much space to destroy the team. With Thiago in that team, they would never have conceded such number of goals. He lost the plot and lost the war. He was even lucky to be on the pitch aftter swinging his elbow twice aat Klose. The shambolic display of the entire Brazilain team occurred because David luiz did not re organised his team after going two golas down in 20mins. I wiser captian would have said: guys let's slow down here, its obvious our game plan is not working, let's slow down and build from the back. Rather than charging recklessly forward and giving the german attacker a free day. The only upside to this debacle is that we've collected cash from PSG without a refund option.
Dwonder
09/07/2014 09:35:00
0
Dante was the worst defender there with Luiz at close second. Maicon & Marcelo were not even defenders.
ACLamp
09/07/2014 09:46:00
0
Brazil would have been beaten even with Silva
BOTUM
09/07/2014 12:38:00
0
Good to spot a post from you after quite a while, Lindy . But i must disagree .... David Luiz was poor yesterday . But the biggest blame must go to Scolari .... getting his starting XI wrong, not changing the formation to cater to the German style of play .... can go on & on ....
ZeeNut
09/07/2014 17:03:00
0
Nice one Merlin and mcquinn but please don't forget to tell anyone the Brazilians last anthem without a mega speaker albeit aggressive and passionate ended in 7
kolagold25
09/07/2014 17:41:00
0
At the risk of being non P.C. & with apologies in advance to any vertically challenged Vital members, I must invoke the 7 Dwarfs for Brazil's performance- Doc - well the players will all need a shrink Dopey - nuff said Sneezy - they caught a cold last night Sleepy - players might as well have been in bed as on the pitch Grumpy - the nation this time, again nuff said Bashful - not Brazil, but the Germans did look a little embarrassed Happy - definitely not
analooish
09/07/2014 20:58:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Best of Vital Network

Vital Boxing - Adams Turns Professional

Recent Chelsea Articles

Mason`s Making Progress

Reports are coming in that are suggesting Ryan Mason is making good progress in hospital.

Cahill on Quite an Eventful Day!

It was an eventful match for Gary Cahill on Sunday.

Ivanovic Linked with Everton Move

Is his time at Stamford Bridge coming to an end?

Chelsea v Hull - Post-Match Fascinating Facts

Something interesting for a Monday morning!

Archived Vital Chelsea Articles

Vital Chelsea articles from

Site Journalists

Merlin
Editor email
Profile
Stan Wenners
no email
Profile
GabeU
no email
Profile
Tom
no email
Profile
Dylan M
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

MOTM v Hull City (h)?
Suggested By: merlin
Courtois2%
Azpilicueta2%
David Luiz0%
Cahill5%
Moses47%
Alonso0%
Kante35%
Matic0%
Hazard2%
Diego Costa7%
Pedro0%
Willian0%
Fabregas0%
Batshuayi0%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Chelsea 22 18 1 3 55 32
2 Arsenal 22 14 5 3 47 27
3 Spurs 22 13 7 2 46 29
4 Liverpool 22 13 6 3 45 24
5 Man City 22 13 4 5 43 15
6 Man Utd 22 11 8 3 41 12
7 Everton 22 10 6 6 36 10
8 WBA 22 9 5 8 32 2
9 Stoke 22 7 7 8 28 -6
10 West Ham 22 8 4 10 28 -7
11 Southampton 22 7 6 9 27 -4
12 AFC Bournemouth 22 7 5 10 26 -7
13 Burnley 22 8 2 12 26 -9
14 Watford 22 6 6 10 24 -13
15 Leicester City 22 5 6 11 21 -13
16 Middlesbrough 22 4 8 10 20 -7
17 Swansea 22 5 3 14 18 -25
18 Crystal Palace 22 4 4 14 16 -11
19 Hull City 22 4 4 14 16 -27
20 Sunderland 22 4 3 15 15 -22
Write for Vital Football
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
The Vital Football Members League

Recent Chelsea Results (view all)

Chelsea Fixtures (view all)

Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Brentford (H)
FA Cup
Jan 31 2017 8:00PM : Liverpool (a)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 4 2017 12:30PM : Arsenal (H)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 12 2017 1:30PM : Burnley (a)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 25 2017 3:00PM : Swansea City (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 4 2017 3:00PM : West Ham United (a)
Barclays Premier League

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Solid767
2.Michael Reid58
3.THEBREEZE48
4.Jerry Blues41
5.unclezillion30
6.herefordchelsea28
7.CobhamBlue25
8.Latunvic21
9.ZeeNut20
10.Kazuya Mishima20
Vital Football Comment