Chelsea - That Old Gallows Humour
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That Old Gallows Humour

A trait synonymous with terrace banter!

I can recall in distant days gone by the feeling of despair when Chelsea were on the receiving end of a 7 goal thrashing when our backsides were kicked by Nottingham Forest.

It hurt!

But, on the journey home the quartet in my car exchanged banter to lighten the mood and by the time we were back in Bedfordshire, the world seemed a better place and we were looking towards the next game.

Over in Brazil I`m not sure that a similar scenario is developing, in fact I get the impression that it`s a nation in mourning.

However, it won`t stop me trying to angle this article in the direction of the jocular, although some with Brazilian connections might not see the funny side.

Please feel free to add your suggestions in our comments facility once you get the drift of what road I`m going down.

So here goes - things not to do today in any big Brazilian city:-

1 - Don`t go into a restaurant and request a table for 7!

2 - When asked what you`d like to drink don`t request a 7-Up!

3 - Please don`t remind anyone just how much Paris St Germain has paid us for David Luiz!

4 - Please don`t try to be smart and try and ask any Brazil fans whether they thought they could Schurrle do better or mention that the score-line wasn`t even Klos or that their side got Muller(-ed)

5 - Don`t stroll into a bar and put the Madness song Embarrassment on!

6 - Please don`t try to sell that job lot of yellow and blue t-shirts you ordered proclaiming Brazil as 2014 World Cup winners!

Now you must have got the drift, please feel free to add your own jibes!

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Merlin Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Wednesday July 9 2014

Time: 8:50AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
All good things are 7, but I think you are a bit harsh on Luiz, apart from being screened off at the first goal by a tank called Klose he was the defender that came closest to a passing grade. The fullbacks that ran into them, ran behind them, changed sides behind the central pairing showed the worst display of defensive football I seen since I watched a game of seven year olds in the park the other day. oscar also comes close to a passing grade, and a well taken goal - BUT that game will be the subject of football know-it-all-analysis for the next ten years.... Total Collapse will be the movie title.
Report Abuse
09/07/2014 09:07:00

Disagreed totally with Lindy. Luiz was the worst player ont he field of play yesterday. At a point I was embaraased to even think of how much we mugged PSG for him. He was a dissapointment personified. As the captain, I was expecting better organisation and calm composure from him. Insteas he was charging forward at every opportunity leaving a hopeless Dante behind.his lack of composure together with Marcelo's recklessness that allowed the Germans so much space to destroy the team. With Thiago in that team, they would never have conceded such number of goals. He lost the plot and lost the war. He was even lucky to be on the pitch aftter swinging his elbow twice aat Klose. The shambolic display of the entire Brazilain team occurred because David luiz did not re organised his team after going two golas down in 20mins. I wiser captian would have said: guys let's slow down here, its obvious our game plan is not working, let's slow down and build from the back. Rather than charging recklessly forward and giving the german attacker a free day. The only upside to this debacle is that we've collected cash from PSG without a refund option.
Report Abuse
09/07/2014 09:35:00

Dante was the worst defender there with Luiz at close second. Maicon & Marcelo were not even defenders.
Report Abuse
09/07/2014 09:46:00

Brazil would have been beaten even with Silva
Report Abuse
09/07/2014 12:38:00

Good to spot a post from you after quite a while, Lindy . But i must disagree .... David Luiz was poor yesterday . But the biggest blame must go to Scolari .... getting his starting XI wrong, not changing the formation to cater to the German style of play .... can go on & on ....
Report Abuse
09/07/2014 17:03:00

Nice one Merlin and mcquinn but please don't forget to tell anyone the Brazilians last anthem without a mega speaker albeit aggressive and passionate ended in 7
Report Abuse
09/07/2014 17:41:00

At the risk of being non P.C. & with apologies in advance to any vertically challenged Vital members, I must invoke the 7 Dwarfs for Brazil's performance- Doc - well the players will all need a shrink Dopey - nuff said Sneezy - they caught a cold last night Sleepy - players might as well have been in bed as on the pitch Grumpy - the nation this time, again nuff said Bashful - not Brazil, but the Germans did look a little embarrassed Happy - definitely not
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09/07/2014 20:58:00


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