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'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Parting is such sweet sorrow…….

As some of you will know, I'm an older Chelsea fan who has been around a lot of years and seen a great deal of football heartbreak as well as glory days, the latter of which I believe I'll see many more, but I also know there'll be bad times too.

In many ways being a fan has mirrored the other parts of my life, both work and personal as in both of these areas there's been highs and lows, good, bad and a lot of average days; I've made mistakes but I've also made decisions that I believed were right at the time, although with the benefit of hindsight they maybe sometimes weren't the best choices.

One choice I made a good few years ago was to call time on my marriage, it wasn't that I didn't still care for the lady because I did, but perhaps just not in the right way; not feeling able to move on to the next level - parenthood, with her or anyone else, still loving her but not in the right way. I could go on but I'm sure you get the idea.

So part we did with much sadness from both parties but loads of mutual respect. I sowed some wild oats but also forged new relationships, one of which was to become long term, marriage and children etc and, although I never saw my ex-wife, I heard about her from mutual acquaintances. I remember the pang of jealousy, in fact almost anger, that I felt when I heard she was marrying again, to someone I knew, and the even bigger surge of emotion I felt when I learned that she was pregnant, something I'd no right to feel given that I was by then a father myself.

The point I'm trying to make here, and it's a view that in my personal life I was only able to come to with the maturity that age brought, is that I / we / Chelsea have no right to deny someone we let go, someone we loved, someone we'll always care for, the right to forge a new path in life even if that path feels so wrong to us, feels like it's something the person we once held so close should not be doing, feels like a betrayal of all we had together.

Because my friends there is no longer an 'us', no matter how fond the farewell it was a farewell and the one who was freely let go has the right to do what he / she wishes with their life. Of course that doesn't mean they're doing the right thing, only time will tell that. In my own case it turned out, albeit 26 years later and then thanks only to the Internet, that it wasn't really farewell, t'was actually 'au revoir' and on Sunday 4th August, we celebrate our 1st wedding anniversary, or our 8th if you add the 7 from first time around.

The love and the respect survived and now grows daily and we've both brought extra things, learned in the years apart, to the reborn relationship. So Frank, good luck, just not against us obviously, and may you one day come home and help to lead us to more glory so that a new generation of Chelsea fans will love not just the legend but perhaps our future treble winning manager?




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The Journalist

Writer: analooish Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday August 3 2014

Time: 10:16AM

Your Comments

Good points my man. I hope this applies to all payers, not just lampard.
Killerpass
@Killerpass Sure when the player stays here for more than a decade and wins everything there is to be won .Until then....
AD_blue
On point dear I wish him all the best but not against us, good luck Frankie
Larger_chelsea
Great write Analooish. You took me back to my childhood there...young immature,and not too knowledgeable about the game. I had just seen a player I admired and respected and loved to bits move to the saints(Osgood move to Southampton in 74)...I was mad,angry,and just didn't get why a club legend would leave to play for another division 1 club. I expected them to be here forever,be Chelsea through and through to me,meant staying through to the club till the end of your playing days...My dad sat me down,and broke it down like it was a relationship(just like you have),it started to make sense,and I started to understand better...so I admire your articulation. That said,I think we making so much of a big deal out of this,we making it sound like Lamps will be in the colours of Citeh for 4-5 years and beyond. Its just going to be 6 months,6 months of which he'd most probably play less than 10 games. Lampard is a club legend and has sacrificed 13 years of his playing career in the Chelsea blue,given his blood and tears to the Chelsea course,playing on even after loosing his mom...he bleeds blue that lad,and has earned the respect,and earned the right to do as he pleases in the last stages of his career. He's gotten to the point where he's trying to make that last quid,and I'm definitely sure he'll be back in the Chelsea back room staff soon enough. Like Jose said,our door is always opened to a Chelsea legend as an assistant,backroom staff,board member,whatever...they've earned it.
nelyvanile
Well, I've never been too hung up about where an ex-player goes. That's football. They're professionals. Anyone who makes football so personal, just may have a mental issue. That's not an unrealized "foot in mouth" statement. That is my absolute opinion. There are so many worries in life greater than where a paid entertainer plies his trade. I did, however, find the revelation of personal details, however... quite uncomfortable. I seriously hope that nobody, in reality, can compare such a personal and intimate relationship to that of a football player/club. If the general feeling is that football is such a defining thing in life, then I am clearly out of place here...
solid7
@Solid7. Just wow mate! Well not necessarily much to say since its your personal opinion. But ofcourse its necessary not to go over board with your emotions,but to many football isn't just a game or a sport,to many Chelsea isn't just a club but family,and its important to respect peoples emotions when it comes to that. Will leave it at that.
nelyvanile
@analooish, you make perfect sense. Footballers are paid professionals and loyalty imo only exist when they feel they're getting or will get what they want. They will ditch loyalty as soon as it stands in the way of their convenience or happiness. This is exactly why I found it ridiculous when some fans criticized Mata and now Lukaku for doing what was right for their careers and personal lives. If an old and experienced player like Frank who fully understands the full extent of club rivalry can ditch loyalty and go to a rival club, it just tells us that these footballers choose to live in the real world while so many fans remain in the fantasy world of unreal expectations. Don't do this, don't do that. A lot of these players don't even care or bother about some things so many fans have sleepless nights over...
Latunvic
@nely , not that I am claiming that my recent posts are in any way emotional...but i hope your reply to solid equally well applies to me
Blue_Mel
@solid while I respect your position ..I do find it a little unusual that a football "fan" can be so far towards being "unemotional" as you do. its almost as if you are putting up a mask to protect yourself from the emotion of being a fan whether the positive or the negative..
Blue_Mel
off topic..i notice the upstart .the "I WANNA BE #1" " I will only come to Chelsea if I can be #1" gobby GK has dislodged Cech and performed a crazy save....
Blue_Mel
@nelyvanile - sorry that this is one of the few areas that we don't see eye to eye. It is my belief, though. I don't understand the level to which some people take their football. Please note, I didn't level any accusations about any person in particular being this way - they were just generalizations. Nevertheless, there are specific areas of psychiatry that deal with the inability of some to separate sports from other things in life that have actual consequence. ("Hooliganism" is the term) People have caused injury and death to other humans over their inflamed football passions, and that's just the pinnacle of ludicrous. You can never justify harming another person over a result of your favorite form of entertainment. Can't imagine any rational person could disagree with that... So how can anyone have the same deep seated emotions towards the game that lead to the same type of outward expression of emotions? As a rational logical person, you would have to admit, that it doesn't quite make sense...
solid7
@Blue_Mel - I am always caught up in the adrenaline of the match. But I don't let it become my "tribal" or "pack" mentality. For me, it's not "us against them" - whoever "them" may be. I was an athlete for most of my life, and to me, it's about being able to step up when needed, but detach from the emotions that make people do stupid things. I'm not going to try to incite Liverpool fans, have no urge to goad on Spurs. To me, it's just a waste of energy. On the pitch, energy isn't well spent arguing with refs, rolling about to draw a pen, or getting in the face of the bloke that fouled you. It's all about doing your job, keeping clean, and using your available energy in the most efficient way possible. As a fan, I make sure I am available for every match - but win or lose, real life starts up again when the final whistle is blown. Not sure what is so hard to understand about that for some... It's like some people use the past as an excuse to perpetuate silly feuds.
solid7
@Blue_Mel. If you were being emotional,then sure it applies to you. But would be nice if you had some control over it,that's quite important. @Solid7. Totally understandable mate,I get what you mean. To me its difficult not to get emotional,you feel ecstatic when you win,and feel sad when you lose,that's what the emotions of the game drags out of you. I feel we all have different personalities,and some on here we know nothing about,might be going through certain things,and football becomes their escape place,they share an emotional attachment with their club,and that's not wrong at all,when it becomes wrong is when you let your emotions get the better of you,and you lose some sense of sanity. Ofcourse am against hooliganism,that's when fans let their emotions get the better of them. To some,football is more than just a sport,Chelsea FC is a family member...haha! Was born into the Chelsea culture,got taken to games and stuff by my Dad and I grew into the club,and it became part of me. My kids,missus,and certain relations are blue through and through,so you could say I've been Chelsea from birth. Seen the high,lows,very high,and downright low,so to a large extent,it doesn't really phase me like it used to...but the passion and emotion for the game and the club still remains.
nelyvanile
So my words seemed harsh, but we're not so far off. You are lucky to have been born into a sporting family. I found the blue shirt later in life, having not been so fortunate to have exposure in younger years. I do consider my fellow fans as family, but like all families, there are some members that you'd rather not be associated with. You can't help what you're born into, which is why you have to be picky with who you call a friend. LOL
solid7
 

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